The presence of underage children in the sex industry only appears to be increasing. With increased mobility allowing johns to travel vast distances in search of sex, the opportunities to make money off this has only grown over time. It is estimated that there are up to 10 million children being trafficked worldwide.
But numbers and laws designed to protect children don't tell a moving story. Here's a documentary that personalizes this problem by narrating the story of two underage girls in the Philippines and their cooperation with investigators to bring down bars that employ children.
There are many heroes in this story: the sisters, the Australian investigators, etc. But Fr. Shay Cullen needs special mention. In a church rocked by scores of cases of pedophilia over the last couple of decades, he's a rare positive force, working tirelessly to save children who have been forced into sex work. (Click here to listen to an interview that NPR did with him.)
The fact that child prostitution exists at all is hard to come to terms with. Who are these monsters who sleep with 12, 13 and 14 year old girls (and boys)? Calling them mentally ill is a cop-out. These predators fully aware of their actions and need to be held accountable wherever they may be.
If you're not moved by this documentary, you need to examine your humanity and your relationship with children in particular.
Monday, April 22, 2019
Sex tourists & exploitation
Sex tourism is not new. Nor is it one specific thing. It occurs in many forms. But its most visible form is when ugly, pot-bellied, middle-aged white & Arab men prowl the bars of Thailand, the Dominican Republic, Colombia, Ukraine & the Philippines, looking for much younger women to sleep with. And occasionally get married to.
Here's a documentary on a few of the 'bar girls' of Thailand, the fierce competition amongst them to entice visitors in the hopes that one day they'd marry them and take them away from a life of poverty.
While the power imbalance clearly results in a situation where men can take advantage of or even exploit the women, the latter are not entirely without agency. They voluntarily put themselves out in such situations in the hopes of ensnaring a foreigner, even as they find these men despicable. For them these men are simply a ticket out of poverty. And for the men -- some of whom are borderline predators -- these women are an easy, exotic adventure in bed. Even when they do get married, it's often no more than a transaction: a green card & a provider for the woman (and her children), and a pliant wife who also doubles up as good housekeeper for the men, most of whom would have great difficulty in attracting someone locally. In other words, they deserve each other. Sure, some of these couple do sincerely love each other even if they approached the interaction in a transactional manner initially, but these are few and far between.
While most of these men are stereotypically ugly slobs, I have to point out that most of the women in this meat market are also ugly, uneducated and often uncultured in their respective social milieu. They have few alternatives to achieve a better life. Respectable, educated Thai women, for instance, would never consider putting themselves out there like this. If they did marry a foreigner, it would be on equal terms and for love.
The other point to consider is if poverty were the only reason for these women to put themselves through all this indignity, why don't we see such exploitative sexual transactions taking place in even poorer countries like India, Bangladesh, sub-Saharan Africa, etc. at this scale? Why don't we see hordes of middle-aged white men roaming the streets in these countries? The fact is that firstly women in these countries have chosen not to put themselves up for sale to the first foreign bidder. Secondly, the societies in which this happens are generally sexually permissive enough to at least turn a blind eye to what's going on. Now, I'm not suggesting that there's something inherently wrong in sexually permissive societies. There isn't. But these societies have agency and they choose not to discourage such exploitative practices.
So viewing women exclusively as victims and men as predators is a facile and intellectually lazy assessment of the situation. The line between perpetrator and victim is not so clear. Who is really the exploiter and who's the victim?
Here's a documentary on a few of the 'bar girls' of Thailand, the fierce competition amongst them to entice visitors in the hopes that one day they'd marry them and take them away from a life of poverty.
While the power imbalance clearly results in a situation where men can take advantage of or even exploit the women, the latter are not entirely without agency. They voluntarily put themselves out in such situations in the hopes of ensnaring a foreigner, even as they find these men despicable. For them these men are simply a ticket out of poverty. And for the men -- some of whom are borderline predators -- these women are an easy, exotic adventure in bed. Even when they do get married, it's often no more than a transaction: a green card & a provider for the woman (and her children), and a pliant wife who also doubles up as good housekeeper for the men, most of whom would have great difficulty in attracting someone locally. In other words, they deserve each other. Sure, some of these couple do sincerely love each other even if they approached the interaction in a transactional manner initially, but these are few and far between.
While most of these men are stereotypically ugly slobs, I have to point out that most of the women in this meat market are also ugly, uneducated and often uncultured in their respective social milieu. They have few alternatives to achieve a better life. Respectable, educated Thai women, for instance, would never consider putting themselves out there like this. If they did marry a foreigner, it would be on equal terms and for love.
The other point to consider is if poverty were the only reason for these women to put themselves through all this indignity, why don't we see such exploitative sexual transactions taking place in even poorer countries like India, Bangladesh, sub-Saharan Africa, etc. at this scale? Why don't we see hordes of middle-aged white men roaming the streets in these countries? The fact is that firstly women in these countries have chosen not to put themselves up for sale to the first foreign bidder. Secondly, the societies in which this happens are generally sexually permissive enough to at least turn a blind eye to what's going on. Now, I'm not suggesting that there's something inherently wrong in sexually permissive societies. There isn't. But these societies have agency and they choose not to discourage such exploitative practices.
So viewing women exclusively as victims and men as predators is a facile and intellectually lazy assessment of the situation. The line between perpetrator and victim is not so clear. Who is really the exploiter and who's the victim?
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
When a woman seeks one-night stands on Tinder
Here's the text of a Tinder profile I came across recently:
I’m 5’4, 185lb (yes I have a little extra meat on my bones so if you want a skinny woman swipe left). I’ve only ever been with one man sexually and am working on claiming my sexuality and my sexual desires. That being the case, I’m looking for one night stands with the right men (intelligent, at least 5’7, nonsmoker, has hair on his head, ages 28-50) who will treat me to a wonderful date, show me a fun time, stimulate my brain, and also knows how to pleasure a woman sexually.
I can only imagine how many men would have salivated upon reading that. But this being Tinder, many probably didn't read it at all and swiped left or right based on what they thought of the woman's picture. I swiped right, but I don't consciously remember doing so, nor did I read her profile. As it turned out, we matched. She wrote to me asking me if I'd read her profile.
I read her profile and wrote back: "You're likely to attract a lot of predators and creeps with that kind of profile. I hope you'll be careful."
She responded by thanking me for my concern, but that she knew what she was looking for. And that was that. I have no idea what kinds of experiences she had. But I hope she was able to ward off the creeps and find those with whom she genuinely connected intellectually as well as sexually.
It also got me thinking: if that was a man, how would women react? I suspect a lot of women would have categorized him as either a creep or a beta male living in his mother's basement or both. I'm willing to bet that he would get few, if any, right swipes. (I mean even decent looking guys get very few swipes.)
I might just perform a social experiment by creating a male profile with this text and seeing what happens.
I’m 5’4, 185lb (yes I have a little extra meat on my bones so if you want a skinny woman swipe left). I’ve only ever been with one man sexually and am working on claiming my sexuality and my sexual desires. That being the case, I’m looking for one night stands with the right men (intelligent, at least 5’7, nonsmoker, has hair on his head, ages 28-50) who will treat me to a wonderful date, show me a fun time, stimulate my brain, and also knows how to pleasure a woman sexually.
I can only imagine how many men would have salivated upon reading that. But this being Tinder, many probably didn't read it at all and swiped left or right based on what they thought of the woman's picture. I swiped right, but I don't consciously remember doing so, nor did I read her profile. As it turned out, we matched. She wrote to me asking me if I'd read her profile.
I read her profile and wrote back: "You're likely to attract a lot of predators and creeps with that kind of profile. I hope you'll be careful."
She responded by thanking me for my concern, but that she knew what she was looking for. And that was that. I have no idea what kinds of experiences she had. But I hope she was able to ward off the creeps and find those with whom she genuinely connected intellectually as well as sexually.
It also got me thinking: if that was a man, how would women react? I suspect a lot of women would have categorized him as either a creep or a beta male living in his mother's basement or both. I'm willing to bet that he would get few, if any, right swipes. (I mean even decent looking guys get very few swipes.)
I might just perform a social experiment by creating a male profile with this text and seeing what happens.
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