I've been on several dating sites: badoo, OKCupid and POF. I've read hundreds of profiles over the years. What people are looking for is as diverse as the world we live in. But there are a few things I find interesting and ironic:
1. Many women explicitly disparage men who post selfies. Now, I don't use one myself, but I don't find them offensive. I agree you may not want to look at the picture of a goat of man, showing off his chest with a silly grin on his face taking a photo of himself with his mobile phone. But a lot of selfies are just fine. The truth is that a lot of women post them as well on their profiles. Why, even the Clinton ladies posted one recently. So, ladies, before you look down on men with selfies, look around you.
2. I can't tell you how many women I've met who admit having FWBs but will only talk to you if you're looking for a long term or serious relationship. Frankly, I find that hypocritical.
3. Many women want men to read their profile in detail before contacting them with more than just a "Hi" or a "Hey cutie". But consider this for a moment. No matter how carefully you've read a woman's profile, no matter how thoughtful your message to her is, the fact is very, very few women write back. And of them some politely write back to say they're not interested, some conversations peter out after 1-2 exchanges, and very few proceed to a coffee date. It appears that women simply have too many choices. With such low response rates, can you blame men for not wanting to invest a lot of time and energy on any given profile until the woman actually shows even a smidgen of interest?
4. So far only a handful of women have initiated contact with me. Guess what all of them wrote? "Hi :)" or a minor variant of that.
5. Oh, and many women have written novels in their profiles: not slim page turners, but excessively wordy historical sagas filled with utterly uninteresting details. Guess what? Even a conscientious profile-reader like me skips them. And I'm often tempted to write to them with a terse: "Hire an editor."
6. Women are just as shallow as men. I've conducted a few experiments so far. I once created a nearly identical duplicate profile on a site, but used photos of a more good-looking man. As you might have guessed, that profile not only got a lot more responses, but the responses were also a lot more flirtatious, and these women were more willing to engage in salacious conversations. Then on craigslist, I posted an ad pretending to be an Italian hunk with a charming accent. It was full of cliches about romantic dinners and walks on beaches. Moments later I posted a much more accurate ad, a more thoughtful description of myself. As you might expect, the Italian got a lot of responses. The real one received only spam. Just imagine how many responses I'd have got had I pretended to be a French expat. I know these experiments are cruel, but they're also immensely edifying.
7. I didn't know there were so many princesses in the world. Clearly there have been some extremely promiscuous kings.
8. Men are pigs, I know. I am one myself, at least sometimes. But do you think requesting men who're looking for a booty call to not contact you is going to stop them from doing so? Especially if it's buried in the saga you've written about yourself?
I don't mean to sound like a cynic because I'm not. I just find the vocabulary of online profiles very amusing. I'm sure there are lots more traits in men's profile worth pointing out, and please do. That is, if anybody is reading this...
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