Has Your Doctor Cleared You for Sexual Activity?

I know that some people ask for and offer to show medical reports stating that they're disease free as a pre-condition to having sex. But I've never been asked before. Until recently. I'd met Alicia on Tinder 2-3 weeks ago. She's African-American, well-educated, mild-mannered, a little plump, and is a school-teacher.

Our first meeting was at a Starbucks out in the suburbs. We had a good conversation, went for a stroll afterwards and kissed in the car. She was an unabashed kisser, which is always a turn-on for me.

The second time we met near where she lived. We went for a stroll in a park. Again, the conversation was good. While I can't say I thought we had a lot in common, we certainly felt comfortable with each other. We ended up making out. There wasn't anybody around, so I got to feel her DDs under her blouse. She loved the way I pinched her nipples.

"Won't this be better indoors?" I asked her.

"No, not today. If we'd made plans in advance I'd have been prepared."

Bummer! But I had to leave by a certain time anyway. So we walked back to where I'd parked. And as I was about to get into the car she said, "Maybe you can come in for a few minutes." She smiled.

Even though I had to leave, I wasn't going to let this opportunity go. So we went up to her apartment. She lifted her blouse and let her pendulous breasts dangle in front of me. I sucked them, and she moaned.

"I want to make love," I whispered.

"Me too. But next time. You have to leave now."

I had to. I was already running late. I hastily got up from the couch, tucked my shirt and hard penis in, kissed her and left.

That night she texted me, "Do you have papers from your doctor?"

"No," I replied. "Never needed to. I did get myself tested a year ago as part of a routine physical. I'm clean."

"Sorry, but I need to see recent papers."

"I understand. So this means we're not having sex yet, right?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

I did understand her request. She was just being careful. And yet it made me uncomfortable. It's about trust. I remember feeling similarly uncomfortable when a woman I once met asked me for my ID to prove that I am who I claim to be. I refused to do so, not because I had anything to hide, but because the lack of trust indicated to me that this wasn't going anywhere. If I did not trust a woman I meet either for her life's story or her past sexual activity, I don't put myself in a position to be tempted by sex. I have actually refused sex on a number of occasions because I wasn't sure I fully trusted the women. If you can't trust someone, how can you get intimate with them? It's a contradiction to me.

So even though I liked Alicia, I reluctantly decided not to see her again. She's a nice person, and she has good reasons for asking what she did, but this just isn't for me.