We mostly hear about men behaving badly. The constant refrain from women is that men are pigs, they are unthinking oafs, have no manners, just sit around guzzling beer and farting. And all they want is a booty call. Yes, men do all these things. But how come we don't hear about women who behave in an unsavory manner?
I was recently stood up by a woman. We'd been chatting for a couple of weeks on Tinder and we decided to meet for coffee. We'd decided to meet at a cafe near where she lived, which is about 40 minutes from my home. I was there on time. But she never showed up. I was pissed off, of course. But there's not much you can do.
I was telling a friend of mine who lives in the Bay Area about it and he told me that it happens to him regularly. He'd been stood up twice in the past month, and had another date cancel on him with no explanation the day before they were to meet. He gave me specifics of these women and thought I should write about them on my blog.
The first was a 48 year old woman on Tinder who goes by the name Matrice. She lives in Dublin, CA. They'd decided to meet at a Starbucks near her town. The day they were supposed to meet, someone close to him had a medical emergency and he spent the day helping them out. He called his date a couple of hours prior to tell her about the situation and warn that he might be late for their date. She didn't pick up the phone, but he left her a message. But after re-organizing a bunch of things, he was able to leave on time and called to let her know that he would be there on time after all. Again, he left a message. He waited at the Starbucks for 25 minutes, sending her texts, calling her number and getting her voice mail, sending her messages on Tinder. He received no response, neither that day nor any day afterwards.
The next was a woman on OkCupid whose screen name was maria557thecat. She said her name was Maria and that she lived in Antioch, CA. They'd made plans to meet once. But that morning she texted him saying she wouldn't be able to meet him since she had to spend the day with her sister. And then she proceeded to spend most of the day texting him. He was willing to overlook this and they planned to meet again a week later. My friend drove an hour to meet her in Walnut Creek, a town near where she lived, at a cafe. Two minutes after they were supposed to meet, she sent him a message saying she couldn't find the cafe. Which was strange, since the cafe was very easy to find. So he wrote back to her asking where she was and offering to guide her from there. But there was no response. He started getting suspicious as time went by. He went to her OKC profile, and lo & behold, the profile had disappeared. Still, her persisted. He called her, sent her more texts. The voice mail greeting at the number he called belonged to someone with a different name. Another suspicious fact. Obviously, he didn't receive any response to his voice mails or texts. After half an hour he knew she wasn't going to show up, and so he left. But the story doesn't end there. A few days later this Maria wrote back to him apologizing for not showing up. Apparently just at the very moment she was trying to find the cafe a friend of hers called with an emergency. And as luck would have it, as soon as she finished talking to this friend, her phone lost power. My friend, always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, forgave her. They chatted for a few more days sporadically. He asked her out again. She never responded.
The third was a 52 year old woman from Roseville, near Sacramento, on Tinder called Laura. They chatted for many days and had a good conversation going. She seemed genuinely interested in him. They even sexted once, and she cummed while they were telling each other dirty things. The next morning she wrote to him apologizing for getting out of control the previous evening. They continued chatting, but he took care not to cross the line, lest she do something that would cause her to feel guilty again. They decided to meet. He was going to drive 2.5 hours to meet her. The day before they were to meet he texted her asking if they were still on for the weekend. She wrote back saying she was driving to Southern California with her kids for a 4 day weekend and that they'd have reschedule. That was odd. She'd never mentioned any potential plans to travel even the previous day. And it didn't sound like an emergency that would require her to take a couple of days off. Still, he gave her the benefit of the doubt. They chatted through the weekend and the next few days. They decided to meet again the following weekend. But a few days before they were to meet, she either deleted her Tinder profile or blocked him. So he texted her phone and asked if everything was okay. She wrote him back saying she was just fed up of the idiots on Tinder, but still wanted to meet him. So they texted each other for the next couple of days and planned to meet at a specific restaurant in her town for brunch on a Saturday. But he felt something wasn't right. Her tone had changed. There was a loss of enthusiasm. So he decided to check with her the next day if she really wanted to meet him. After all, it was a very long drive for him to meet someone who may not be that keen on him. So he texted her: 'Good morning'
She: 'Did you get my message?'
He: 'Which message?'
She: 'I sent a message earlier. I'm afraid it's not good.'
He: What is it?
She: I just resent it. Did you get it?
He: No
She: If you got this message you would have got the other one as well
He: No, I didn't. Why would I say otherwise?
She: Anyway, I can't meet.
He: That's fine. I was expecting this. But may I know why?
No response.
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